Organising a playdate or party for your child—does the thought already make you break out in a cold sweat? Luckily, there’s no need to worry! With good preparation, it will be a fantastic day for both the children and the organising parent(s). In this article, you’ll learn how to plan a playdate or party and quickly defuse any potential conflicts.
Tip #1: choose the right moment
Good timing is half the battle won. Children have natural energy peaks at certain times of the day, and you can use this to your advantage when planning a playdate or party. For toddlers (ages 1–3), the morning or early afternoon is ideal, as they often need a nap later in the day. Preschoolers (ages 3–5) and older children are best invited in the late morning or afternoon.
Plan for about 1.5 to 2 hours for a playdate and 2 to 3 hours for a birthday party, depending on the child's age. Playdates focus on spontaneous social interaction without too much structure, whereas parties often have a planned program—which keeps kids engaged for longer.
Avoid scheduling the event right before or after lunch or dinner to prevent distractions from hunger or post-meal fatigue.
Tip #2: limit the number of children
For a playdate, one to three friends are enough to keep things fun and manageable. This way, children feel more included (read: less left out), which reduces the chances of arguments, jealousy, and chaos. For birthday parties, a good rule of thumb is "one child per year of age": for example, four guests for a four-year-old.
If you're inviting a larger group, consider bringing in an extra adult to help supervise and keep both the activities and the kids on track.
Tip #3: pick the right location
Playdates are best organised at home, but for a party, you can choose from a wide range of outdoor options. The park around the corner, an (indoor) playground, a children's museum or farm, a zoo… If you're planning an outdoor activity, don't forget to make a reservation (if needed) and have a backup plan in case of bad weather.
Prefer to keep the party within your own four walls? Set up a special play area with toys and soft cushions. Also, consider siblings—can they join in, or are they too young or too old? If needed, arrange a babysitter in advance.
Send parents an invitation a few weeks in advance with the most important information: date, time, location and what exactly you will do. Also ask to pass on any allergies and intolerances, as well as an emergency phone number.
Bonus tip: send the invitations by post. Do not have them handed out in the classroom, as this is not so nice for children who are not on the guest list.
Tip #4: plan suitable activities and games
Every playdate and party requires tailor-made activities. Don't worry: you really don't have to look far. What fits the children's ages?
- Toddlers: singing songs, romping in the sandbox, stacking blocks, sensory games ...
- Preschoolers: face painting, a simple obstacle course with cushions and tunnels, a dress-up ‘catwalk’ ...
- Older children: decorating cupcakes or biscuits, a treasure hunt, a mini-tournament with two teams and classic games (sack races, tug-of-war, etc.) ...
Tip #5: keep food and drinks simple
Write your shopping list a week (or two) in advance, betting fully on simple, healthy and child-friendly snacks. Think greens with hummus, fruit (as a salad or skewers), mini sandwiches, frozen yoghurt friscoes or popcorn in small containers for a quick and light nibble. Prefer a big birthday cake with whipped cream from the bakery? No problem either - just do what you feel most comfortable with as a parent.
Are there children with intolerances or allergies? Make sure to provide them with separate options so they don’t feel left out.
Tip #6: choose a theme for extra fun
Having a colourful theme makes it a lot easier to coordinate your decorations, snacks, games and so on. Some classics: superheroes, princes and princesses, jungle animals, face painting, a craft or costume party, rainbows ...
You can also 'outsource' part of the entertainment by hiring a clown, magician, or other performers. Make sure to book them a few weeks in advance and double-check the confirmation email a few days before the big day.
Tip #7: make your playroom even a little safer
Move large furniture aside (if possible) and remove small objects or parts that could be a choking hazard. Do you have valuable items in your living room? Now is the time to put that expensive vase somewhere safe.
Also, restock your first aid kit in advance so you're prepared for any little accidents. And don’t forget those colourful band-aids!
If you're organizing a birthday party for your child, this question will likely come up several times in the lead-up to the big day. Share a wish list in a dedicated WhatsApp group, including a (realistic) budget, so parents can coordinate or pitch in together. Need inspiration? Check out our handy gift guide.
P.S.: Is the birthday child eager to tear into all that fun wrapping paper? You can make gift-giving even more special with a fun unwrapping game to celebrate the generous gift-givers!
Tip #8: update your conflict management skills
At some point, little guests will get tired, or they won’t want to share a favorite toy—classic ingredients for a dispute. Try to stay calm and don’t step in immediately: some kids can solve the problem on their own.
If you do need to intervene, offer choices (“Do you want to play first and then trade, or should we pick something else together?”) or describe the situation (“You both really want to play with this teddy bear. How can we solve this?”). Using timers can help take turns fairly—bonus points if you have a fun kitchen timer or a colourful sand hourglass!
And don’t forget to reward well-behaved children with a sincere compliment (“That was so kind of you!”).
Tip #9: give a fun souvenir
Especially at birthday parties, kids love taking home a small souvenir. It doesn’t have to be expensive—a bottle of bubbles, their own craft project, a decorated cupcake (if it survived), a fun sticker... A little gift goes a long way, even after hours of playtime!
Children don’t need much to have fun and are often just happy to be together. So don’t be too hard on yourself, relax, and remember that mess and bickering are part of the experience.
Have fun!
